"Human Isn't Perfect, And Perfect Is Not He."

"SteveLehto" (stevelehto) 07/25/2015 at 08:00 • Filed to: None

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Brooke Hogan is Hulk Hogan’s daughter. And I hate myself for knowing this, but she is a wannabe pop star. Think: VERY poor man’s Ashlee Simpson. But without the acting and singing skills of a Simpson. And, she is a poet.

I can’t imagine I need to explain the context of why Hulk Hogan is in the news lately, but a very recent kerfuffle has him on the ropes so to speak. Let’s just say that some of his words (recorded under oath) have come back to haunt him.

So, his daughter decided to do what any ingenue-wordsmith would do. She wrote a poem extolling Hogan senior’s innocence. And the poetry is - well - it’s . . .

Lines of words that look like they were written by a child who has never been told to find a marketable skill and actually work for a living.

If you knew the dad I knew, you’d know his tender heart.

He’d never want to hurt his fans, or family from the start.

If you knew my father, you would know how hard he fought... and the way it brought a smile to people light, medium and dark.

We always fight a battle that people never see, and sometimes when you’re hurting, you don’t think logically.

Human isn’t perfect, and perfect is not he, but I can tell you one thing, it’s just not what it seems.

Cause If you knew the dad I knew, you’d know he raised me well.

He taught me folks are so much more than shades could ever tell.

There’s more but it just goes on and on. If you want to read all of it you can !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

I don’t recommend it. It might be worse than that of !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

On another topic: my new podcast is out in case you haven’t heard it.

https://soundcloud.com/stevelehto/oil…

And I will make this promise to you now. It will NEVER contain poetry.

Follow me on Twitter: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Hear my podcast on iTunes: !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Steve Lehto has been practicing law for 23 years, almost exclusively in consumer protection and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! He wrote !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

This website may supply general information about the law but it is for informational purposes only. This does not create an attorney-client relationship and is not meant to constitute legal advice, so the good news is we’re not billing you by the hour for reading this. The bad news is that you shouldn’t act upon any of the information without consulting a qualified professional attorney who will, probably, bill you by the hour.

Dusty Ventures > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:05

5

Damn you, Steve. You have just permanently ruined poetry for me

SteveLehto > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 08:06

1

This stuff is gold. GOLD I tell you!

McMike > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:08

3

VERY poor man’s Ashlee Simpson.

Ooooh, burn.

Dusty Ventures > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:11

9

* BREAKING NEWS: Gold value suddenly plummets worldwide. Cause attributed to a comment made online by a “Steve Lehto,” of Michigan. *

SteveLehto > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 08:15

1

Hang on. I’m shorting gold futures.

davedave1111 > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:33

0

Philistine. Dadaist poetry is something of an acquired taste, perhaps.

Think knew can the fought it;

Fans heart;

What know don’t not battle we.

You you’d start so.

Sometimes that;

Perfect I way I I and taught fight his are;

Father it knew isn’t and if a never.

Me he dark is want.

Not smile perfect he see;

From always raised would;

Logically to than family how;

Never but;

It’s you cause you people me to knew and.

Or seems.

And know could;

My tell much people well;

You you’re if he’d dad when hard tender if human the you’d a tell;

Hurt thing shades.

Light hurting ever medium the.

You knew dad;

Just his brought more knew the;

One he.

Know he folks;

You

m2m, apex detective > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:35

0

You might enjoy reading the story mentioned here then.

Bad Idea Hat > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:35

2

“Why are you...doing this to me?”

m2m, apex detective > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 08:36

0

**poo’etry

SteveLehto > m2m, apex detective 07/25/2015 at 08:38

1

I saw that. And I’m drawing a mental blank but there was another one that had a mystery behind who wrote it? As for the bad poetry, there is something almost hypnotic about it. The funny thing is that if you try to write bad poetry on purpose, it can be difficult.

But that is still no excuse. I suspect that writing this was difficult for her too. But just because she has the literacy skills of a three year-old.

SteveLehto > Bad Idea Hat 07/25/2015 at 08:38

0

She did it to me first! (Misery loves company.)

Birddog > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:39

0

“Think: VERY poor man’s Ashlee Simpson. But without the acting and singing skills of a Simpson.”

Jeez.. I didn’t think it was possible for talent to go into negative territory.

SteveLehto > Birddog 07/25/2015 at 08:41

1

Yes. Not only is it possible, but she has proven it knows no boundaries in that direction. Stay tuned: SHE COULD GET WORSE.

m2m, apex detective > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:45

0

Come on now, that’s bordering on mean ... clearly, she’s trying to figure out her strengths. That can be hard when you have no apparent talent. :?

From what I’ve read, the Eye of Argon story had no ending for most of its existence, until it was found later.

There’s a crapload of shit literature out there, but only a minuscule part of that is actually painful to read. I actually started reading Eye of Argon, but stopped when I felt silly for giggling all alone in front of my computer.

Wheelerguy > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 08:47

1

What a waste. At least Charlotte won at Battleground.

SteveLehto > m2m, apex detective 07/25/2015 at 08:55

1

It would help if 1) she had strengths and 2) (see #1).

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:02

8

... and the way it brought a smile to people light, medium and dark.

Best lyric/verse EVER

(best=worst)

Dusty Ventures > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:04

1

Conclusive proof that we were right all along: lawyers WILL be the downfall of society

PS9 > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:15

1

Damnit Hogan! First Sorbo now this. All of my childhood heroes have been ruined except for Batman. He doesn’t exist so there’s no way for anyone to dig up any dirt on him.

PS9 > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 07/25/2015 at 09:18

1

“You forget these gold chains, I’ll forget those iron chains” is still better, but this is close.

SteveLehto > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 09:22

0

Or, we will be suing those responsible.

LongbowMkII > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:25

2

I haven’t seen a blogger tarnish the Hogan’s reputation this badly since...wait.

micklich£michael > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:28

0

I only clicked on because I thought she was the sex tape broad.

SteveLehto > micklich£michael 07/25/2015 at 09:29

0

Give her time . . .

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:42

1

It’s hard to find a marketable skill when she failed intro to shapes and colors...

f86sabre > Bad Idea Hat 07/25/2015 at 09:51

1

+10 internets for obscure Scott Glenn / Al Shepard Right Stuff quote.

Dusty Ventures > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 09:55

0

You killed gold. You are the one responsible.

SteveLehto > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 10:01

1

Everything but 9mm ammo will be valueless in the apocalyptic wasteland we will all be wandering in a few days . . .

Under_Score > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 10:17

1

Poem like that > the artsy, hard to understand ones that I have to analyze in LIT class. It may be corny, but the poem flows nicely (for the most part), and it’s sweet that she wrote that for her father. But, that’s just what I think.

SteveLehto > Under_Score 07/25/2015 at 10:23

0

“Human isn’t perfect and perfect is not he.”

Sorry, but that line just clunks in so many ways. The rest could be undiscovered Shakespeare and I couldn’t get past this line having been written.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > PS9 07/25/2015 at 10:24

0

True, how could I forget that collaboration masterpiece.

Under_Score > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 10:28

1

Yeah, that’s bad. The rest of it’s alright.

Bad Idea Hat > f86sabre 07/25/2015 at 10:43

0

This is my go to quote for any time physical, mental, or emotional pain is being inflicted upon me for spurious reasons.

ttyymmnn > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 10:53

3

I think she has a promising future in the greeting card industry.

iSureWilll > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 11:14

1

Let us know if you hear anything.

Dusty Ventures > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 13:33

1

Excellent! Then I’m set to be the richest man in the world!

...wait, do I need something to fire the ammo with, or just the ammo?

SteveLehto > Dusty Ventures 07/25/2015 at 13:46

1

The ammo is currency. But someone who has the delivery system can take the currency from someone who lacks such a system.

Hirsch > SteveLehto 07/25/2015 at 18:54

2

I’m sitting in a Cracker Barrel in Macon, GA eating catfish and reading this. In this setting, her prose is almost elegant. Almost.

Agrajag > PS9 07/26/2015 at 10:27

1

Bruce Wayne hired Joe Chill to murder his own parents.

PS9 > Agrajag 07/26/2015 at 12:01

0

YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK RIGHT NOW

Agrajag > PS9 07/26/2015 at 12:22

0

Declan Hackett > SteveLehto 07/26/2015 at 13:02

1

Ah freddled gruntbuggly,Thy micturations are to me,As plurdled gabbleblotchits,On a lurgid bee,That mordiously hath blurted out,Its earted jurtles,Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,And living glupules frart and slipulate,Like jowling meated liverslime,Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,And hooptiously drangle me,With crinkly bindlewurdles,Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,See if I don’t.
So then, is Brooke a Vogon? Or is Ashlee a Vogon, making Brooke an Azgoth? Or do I just need to go and suck on my towel for a while, until the scary moustache goes away?

SteveLehto > Declan Hackett 07/26/2015 at 13:29

1

No, No, No, Yes.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > SteveLehto 07/27/2015 at 16:30

1

I also hate yourself for knowing this.